forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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