Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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