You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
