Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
