How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
