Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
