Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm always down for nudity.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
