They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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