I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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