just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ugly people sure do ruin things
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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