"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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