she was so not down for the gang bang
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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