That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
