wanna go halves on a baby?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
