i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i've created a new STD.
third nipple confirmed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize