his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
