You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
