There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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