Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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