Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
