super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
