Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
