I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
