I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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