No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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