I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
