you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
