problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
