...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
