his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Watching her eat just hurts me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
