it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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