i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So apparently I’m into choking now
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