hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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