dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize