You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
