: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
sex in a hospital.. check
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
