pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Watching her eat just hurts me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
