He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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