She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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