You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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