Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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