Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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