I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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