They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
