shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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