When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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