I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
