can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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