i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
