Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
