The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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