You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
