Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
