You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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