seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
