Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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