shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
