every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
