is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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