I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
