We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
