She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
