I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
