we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
