Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
