About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
